When in comes to doing something we are afraid or anxious about there are several phases that come to mind. Many involve some sporadic movement of the body, ie. leap, jump, dive in. You could Nike the situation or my personal favorite, rip off the band-aid. I suffer from self-inflicted indecision. In my suffering, I…

It has been awhile since the hubs has traveled. And while I sometimes welcome the break, a chance for me to stay up as late as I like, reading or binge watching shows he has no patience to suffer through, this pleasure, it’s short-lived. The running around and the constant parental requirements are now compounded. Murphy’s law…

Disclaimer: Make no mistake this is not a blog making claims that I have experienced the real deal purgatory. No near death experiences in my realm of influence to report from, just general common knowledge on the subject which leads me to believe that it is like parenting. I always knew I wanted to be…

About ten years ago, this time of year, I braved the many solo miles in my little Dodge Neon, from PA to Vermont. It was winter in every sense of the word and I was terrified. Ever since my Dad’s Oldsmobile slid into a guardrail when school failed to delay the expected arrival time, I have been leery of…

It is crazy to me how often people can be like parrots. As a child you hear things over and over again and instinctively repeat them. Words, both good and bad on the tip of child’s tongue, run warm over our hearts or freeze our very souls. The true power without understanding. You grow up and…

While I am not much of a TV buff, I always resented the hiatus. It isn’t so much the fact that I am missing out on the guilty pleasure of zoning out on the couch that upsets me, or even the fact that the amount of money these shows generate, for all involved, makes me feel like they should…

“Fundamental violations of human rights always leads to people feeling less and less human” ~ Aung San Suu Kyi I realize that it is now trendy to take a stand on the woman’s rights movement, to express a view regarding the impact of the marches held across the country; good, bad or indifferent.  Up until…

This is something I aim for, being aware, focused, capable of thinking through a situation before making a decision. It has always been a struggle, my busy mind, fleeting dreams, ever-changing goals. Staying the course is a flag on Mount Everest type goal. Being the lover of glitter that I am, there are a lot of shiny objects that steal my attention and therefore make focusing a challenge.

I like to think that I am open to new experiences, new places, new people and situations but, sometimes, the newness is hindering. Sometimes there is a nagging inner voice that hangs over the reality of attaining the confidence to enjoy all the new. It likes to show these opportunities not as blessings, but as snakes crossing an otherwise floral lined cobblestone terrace. A hinderance. An eyesore in the work of daydreams. Sometimes I do nothing, because it is easier than trying that new thing and it not working out. I.e., me not being good enough. That sultry snake is fear and she can be quite the home wrecker, can’t she.

Living a life of truth as your mission is hard. It means that sometimes things are uncomfortable. It means that there is no longer sugar-coating to use as a buffer for the bitter pills. Given the choice, I would pick an Advil to down everyday over the extreme horse pills I take for my joints. Ever…

Today I turn 35 and the month of December, as mentioned before, is not my favorite, but this year for an additional set of reasons. December felt like a long plank I was walking. A plank what would eventually drop me into the icy waters of January. The problem? I have no idea what I am diving into, the clear blue sea of vision I have had for years is a murky black abyss, with creatures underneath that I have no names for, no idea if I can touch the bottom.

I never wanted to be THAT Mom. The one who was sitting in the stands, auditorium or in this case, on the chairs right outside of the gym mats, feeling all the feels. I imagined feeling maybe two emotions, pride and joy, while my child was out there doing their thing. Turns out it is a lot more complicated than that. I never wanted to be the Mom who wanted it more for my kiddos then they did for themselves. Never wanted to feel anger at judges or referees because I have always believed I would be the Mom who knew it was all only a game, a meet, a recital and in the scheme of life it would be over and done with and we could go home and carry on, business as usual.