Truth: I did not expect to be this exhausted.

If you have access to the internet, there is a good chance you have seen a meme for two about exhaustion, as it relates to motherhood. My personal favorite is the one that chastises the pre-parental self for ever thinking I was tired. This old version of tired is what I feel like for about…

Truth: Motherhood and Heartbreak are Synonyms.

My children are still relatively “little,” at least that is what I continue to tell myself, to keep  my heart intact. Although much of their current time in the nest is spent turning my hair into strands of sparkling silver, my heart aches at the thought of them leaving the nest. A time that will…

Truth: I stopped all the extra. Then, my life started.

I have had this subject on my heart for quite a while and silenced it time and time again. The fear that kept me from sharing was quite real, and in the same respect it was not real at all.  When I dissect it, really take the fear apart, thought by thought, sensation by sensation,…

Truth: I am not living my best life.

Let me just start off my saying that I am not a fan of the word, “best.”  My subconscious automatically sets me up for failure when I hear it. It’s a trigger word for all the things that could/should/will go wrong and therefore, it’s on my list of anti-adjectives, like moist and nice. It may…

Truth: I’m not even sure what to write.

It’s been way too long since I have visited my own site. There are many reasons I could list here as to why that is the case. I’ve been busy. Working full-time is a serious time sucker. The kids are always around. My husband and I have been spending more time together working on our marriage. I started teaching yoga part-time. The house has tons of needs and meeting them is a soul depleting process. I’m tired. I have no time. All these things, while they may be true, or perceivably true, aren’t the real reasons why I haven’t been writing. 

All The Things We Are Not.

It happens to me more often than I would like to admit. The heart heavy feeling of not being enough. An ache that follows me around like a shadow because I did not complete a task or fell short on a goal. I try to forget it, push past the nagging whispers that remind me…

To the Mom Who Moved Away.

This morning I stumbled upon a few of my older, saved but never shared, blog posts. Some of them featured ideas that just didn’t quite come to fruition, others were full of emotions I was not yet ready to share. I decided to finish up this entry, a combination of past and present feelings and…

13,149~ a hope-filled number.

Yesterday the calendar rolled over into my 36th year of life, or as a mathematically conscious friend pointed out, my 13,149th day of being alive (it is accurate, she even accounted for leap years).  Celebrating my own birthday has never been my jam. It took a toll for “let’s skip it” after I broke my…

It’s been awhile.

If you had to describe what it was like to slowly lose your sense of self, what would you say? To me it feels similar to holding that tiny numbered paper at the deli counter, or the post office, or most recently the fabric cutting line at Joanne fabrics. Enduring the incredible amount of time…

Ripping off the Band-aid

When in comes to doing something we are afraid or anxious about there are several phases that come to mind. Many involve some sporadic movement of the body, ie. leap, jump, dive in. You could Nike the situation or my personal favorite, rip off the band-aid. I suffer from self-inflicted indecision. In my suffering, I…

I was riding solo…sorta.

It has been awhile since the hubs has traveled. And while I sometimes welcome the break, a chance for me to stay up as late as I like, reading or binge watching shows he has no patience to suffer through, this pleasure, it’s short-lived. The running around and the constant parental requirements are now compounded. Murphy’s law…

When Parenting Feels Like Purgatory.

Disclaimer: Make no mistake this is not a blog making claims that I have experienced the real deal purgatory. No near death experiences in my realm of influence to report from, just general common knowledge on the subject which leads me to believe that it is like parenting. I always knew I wanted to be…