All The Things We Are Not.

It happens to me more often than I would like to admit. The heart heavy feeling of not being enough. An ache that follows me around like a shadow because I did not complete a task or fell short on a goal. I try to forget it, push past the nagging whispers that remind me…

To the Mom Who Moved Away.

This morning I stumbled upon a few of my older, saved but never shared, blog posts. Some of them featured ideas that just didn’t quite come to fruition, others were full of emotions I was not yet ready to share. I decided to finish up this entry, a combination of past and present feelings and…

13,149~ a hope-filled number.

Yesterday the calendar rolled over into my 36th year of life, or as a mathematically conscious friend pointed out, my 13,149th day of being alive (it is accurate, she even accounted for leap years).  Celebrating my own birthday has never been my jam. It took a toll for “let’s skip it” after I broke my…

It’s been awhile.

If you had to describe what it was like to slowly lose your sense of self, what would you say? To me it feels similar to holding that tiny numbered paper at the deli counter, or the post office, or most recently the fabric cutting line at Joanne fabrics. Enduring the incredible amount of time…

Ripping off the Band-aid

When in comes to doing something we are afraid or anxious about there are several phases that come to mind. Many involve some sporadic movement of the body, ie. leap, jump, dive in. You could Nike the situation or my personal favorite, rip off the band-aid. I suffer from self-inflicted indecision. In my suffering, I…

I was riding solo…sorta.

It has been awhile since the hubs has traveled. And while I sometimes welcome the break, a chance for me to stay up as late as I like, reading or binge watching shows he has no patience to suffer through, this pleasure, it’s short-lived. The running around and the constant parental requirements are now compounded. Murphy’s law…

When Parenting Feels Like Purgatory.

Disclaimer: Make no mistake this is not a blog making claims that I have experienced the real deal purgatory. No near death experiences in my realm of influence to report from, just general common knowledge on the subject which leads me to believe that it is like parenting. I always knew I wanted to be…

Time’s only frozen in memory.

About ten years ago, this time of year, I braved the many solo miles in my little Dodge Neon, from PA to Vermont. It was winter in every sense of the word and I was terrified. Ever since my Dad’s Oldsmobile slid into a guardrail when school failed to delay the expected arrival time, I have been leery of…

Hiatus.

While I am not much of a TV buff, I always resented the hiatus. It isn’t so much the fact that I am missing out on the guilty pleasure of zoning out on the couch that upsets me, or even the fact that the amount of money these shows generate, for all involved, makes me feel like they should…

#7. Focused Intention/Mindfulness/Put the Blinders On.

This is something I aim for, being aware, focused, capable of thinking through a situation before making a decision. It has always been a struggle, my busy mind, fleeting dreams, ever-changing goals. Staying the course is a flag on Mount Everest type goal. Being the lover of glitter that I am, there are a lot of shiny objects that steal my attention and therefore make focusing a challenge.