You know what they say, there is no time like the present. As much as I love the sentiment of this, it has never really applied to me. I am an over thinker, a fear-based procrastinator, a last minute Mama. For years I have convinced myself that this was just how I am, it was innate and needed to be accepted. Lately though, I have started to reconsider the complacency of this. It turns out that many of the reasons I am not as, “carpe diem” as I once was, lie in the realm of acceptance, or lack there of. You see, even this blog is a product of paralysis, it’s the pinnacle of how I see the term, self-worth.
As long as I can remember people have been telling me, you should write about it, when they start to become familiar with the insanity that is our life. If I had a nickel for ever time I heard, “Are you writing this crazy stuff down, why does it seem like these things always happen to you, keep a journal of this, write a book, start a blog, it’s hilarious, share it, you should do it, ect,”I would be able to at least get a sitter (who I could pay in actual money) and take my hubby out to a nice dinner and a movie. So, I guess it’s a win. However, I never did any of those things they suggested. Mainly because I was afraid of falling short of their expectations. What if I did write about it and it was painful for those reading it? What it people hated it? Hated me? I couldn’t stand the thought of being laughed at, dismissed, a failure. Instead of seizing the day, I seized up and did nothing.
My point is, I put it off for fear of not being good enough. On paper, I am qualified, but out here in cyberland, I worry. The worry was forcing me to put off the action. So today, I am here to declare that I may not be qualified, to you, or the lady down the street, or to my family or friends, but I do feel a stirring inside of me that is ready to come out with the sole hope that someone will read a post and feel the shimmer that went into it. I can not promise award winning writing here, but I can promise to be real. I promise I will tell the truth. I will be willing to share my faults and failures here, in order to honor the very human need we all have to connect. I will seize the moments as they come and finally write about them.
With that being said, I would like to welcome you to our clan. We are a loud bunch. We are competitive, to a fault, and we are worker bees. We believe in not just working hard, but playing hard too. We mess up, all the time. We apologize, a lot. We are supporters of the saying, go big or go home. We do our best to find the silver lining. We are encouragers and you can do it-ers. We are a force to be reckoned with because we believe in second changes and loving deeply. We are artsy and creative, we are sporty and athletic, we are book worms, early birds and night owls. We are here and willing to make the most of now. We eat glitter for breakfast and shine our crazy light all day long.